Just Another Chapter

Hey, cupcakes.

This is gonna be a chatty one.

Yesterday (12th March 2014) I had a hospital appointment to change to a four times a day insulin shot, or rather a shot every time I eat.

When I was first in hospital, I didn't think I'd ever want to do a four times a day routine, I thought I'd be too embarrassed to have my insulin when I was out in public and that people would hone in on the needle and think I was weird or something. You have to understand that I'm a really shy person and I hate having everyone's eyes on me, especially when I'm doing something that's really quite intimate. In other words, anything that could potentially embarrass me, I tend to avoid like the plague. I remember thinking, 'oh god, there's no way in hell am I doing that!' nope, I was completely against it. I genuinely think it was because I've never seen anyone have an insulin shot when I've been out to dinner or just sat in Greggs having a pastie for my lunch, you know? I've never been... Not necessarily subjected to it, that's the wrong word, but I'd never even thought that there might be someone with Diabetes around me so when the doctors said that that was what was recommended for someone of my age, I internally freaked out.

I think what people also have to realise as well was that no-one in my family has diabetes. I don't know anyone with it so I've never know what the whole thing implies and what it's all about really. That and when I was told all of this information I was still kinda out of it so it really overwhelmed me.

One night though, my parents and I went out for dinner specifically for me to do my old insulin outside of my room. It really doesn't sound like a big deal but for me, someone that is already hyper sensitive to everyone around me, I was shitting myself. It sounds stupid in hindsight but I really was nervous. Needless to say that I did it without a hitch, no-one even noticed me and I could feel a huuuuge weight being let off my shoulders. My mum and dad didn't make a big deal out of it either which really helped. I didn't want it to be this massive hoo-ha and it wasn't. I did it discreetly under my dress and had a delicious meal with my parents.

So yesterday I talked it through with my wonderful nurse and got my new pens and I'm all set to go on this new part of being Diabetic. Like I've just said, if you're a long term diabetic or you're just someone reading this out of curiosity it probably won't sound like a huge deal but to me, who's only been diabetic for three months, it is a big deal and it was a kind of sensitive issue but now I'm fine and I'm happier and more confident.

Nothing like a nice, wee chatty post :)

Thanks for reading, guys.

Laters,

Kate x